Beneath the Skin
by Sasky Elf
Summary: Beneath the Skin everyone is different. Beneath the skin every one is hiding something. What is Oliver hiding and why won't he let Katie help him? Rated for depression and suicidial themes.


The game was held a week after school started in the last term. It was the third Gryffindor Quidditch game of the year. Gryffindor vs. Slytherin. These were usually the best games to watch due to the utter and absolute hatred felt by both teams toward each other, and they often resulted in rather dirty, devious tactics and foul play (in the case of the Slytherin team). Today was no exception. Everything was going like normal: Gryffindor was winning as per the norm and the Slytherin team had resorted to devious tactics. Then it happened.  
  
George and Fred took the eyes of the bludgers for one minute and Derrick, one of the Slytherin beaters aimed a bludger at Harry. Oliver started yelling at the twins when he noticed the bludger heading Harry's way. But it was too late.  
  
The teachers raced onto the pitch as the players surrounded Harry. The Gryffindor players couldn't help but notice the smug looks on the faces of the Slytherin team. Usually calm and reserved, something snapped inside of Wood. Harry had fallen 50 feet to the ground. He was unconscious and had blood all over him, and it was all Slytherin's fault.  
  
Oliver lunged at Derrick and started pounding him with his fists. Before Katie and Angelina reached him, Wood already had a rapidly forming black eye and was in worse condition than Derrick. The two girls dragged him from the field and by using all their strength managed to get him into the change rooms. So much anger radiated from Wood that the girls swiftly left him alone in the changing rooms.  
  
They returned to the pitch just in time to see Harry being carried off, still unconscious and bleeding profusely. Everyone wanted to follow the teachers to the hospital wing, but McGonagall sent them to shower instead. Wood wasn't in the locker room. After Angelina and Katie informed the rest of the team on Wood's state of mind when they had left him, the team decided it would be better not to go and find him so they trudged back to the castle.  
  
Wood sat high in the grand stand in silence, tears streaming down his face. The tears mixed with the fresh blood from the self-inflicted knife wounds on his arms, leaving his robes a mess. His pocketknife sat open, covered in his blood on the bench next to him. He had been cutting himself for as long as he could remember. He did it when he became depressed, releasing the pain.  
  
His left arm was covered in old and new scars, perfectly straight. No one saw them. Oliver made sure of this. Cutting himself had hurt at first, but now he was too numb to feel it. To fail yourself is hard enough, he thought, but to fail someone else is worse. And I failed Harry. With tears still running down his face and blooding dripping from his arm, Oliver Wood fell asleep still in his Quidditch robes in the Gryffindor Grandstand.  
  
Every one woke at 5 o'clock the next morning ready for Quidditch practice, but after a meeting in the common room they decided not to go. No one knew what Harry's condition was, or where Wood was.  
  
"He didn't come in last night," commented George as he stared absently out the window. "Don't have a clue where he is, either, but I'm guessing he's blaming himself for this whole Harry incident. He is so caught up in Quidditch that he sometimes forgets we are people. Seeing Harry get hurt probably didn't help." George turned to face the others, sick of watching the rain pouring down outside.  
  
"I think him saying 'Get the snitch, Harry, or die trying' is coming back to haunt him," Katie piped up and with that, headed towards the infirmary to check on Harry's condition.  
  
Madame Pomfrey was more than a tad annoyed to be woken by Katie, but understood that the team needed to know about Harry. After all, he was their star Seeker and they had only lost one match with him playing. Though she had listened to one of Oliver Wood's pre game speeches and wondered if Harry had taken the saying 'Get the snitch, or die trying' to heart. She led Katie to Harry's bed and explained his condition so Katie could relay it to the rest of the team.  
  
Katie could feel tears welling up in her eyes as she looked at him. Hermione was asleep on the chair next to the bed, her hand on his arm. And as Madame Pomfrey started to explain his injuries, the tears flowed silently down her cheeks. The bludger had hit so hard that Harry's skull had been cracked and the fall had resulted in a broken arm, leg and three ribs. They had all been repaired, but until Harry regained consciousness they couldn't assess the brain damage. Katie could tell from Madame Pomfrey's face that it wasn't good. With a last look at Harry, Katie swiftly ran from the hospital and bowled over none other than Oliver Wood.  
  
Quickly righting herself she took in Oliver's appearance. He stood there staring into space, as if not noticing what had happened. He was covered in blood and was still wearing his Quidditch robes. From the look of them, it appeared that he had slept in them last night. A very impressive bruise covered his right eye and part of his cheek. And as she watched him stand up, his sleeve slipped and she saw his arm, covered in dried blood and scars.  
  
She gasped. "Oliver, your arm."  
  
Hearing these words snapped Wood out of whatever sub-conscious zone he had been in. Oliver turned to face Katie. "There is nothing wrong with my arm," he said angrily, "And don't ever mention it again." With that, he raced off down the corridor.  
  
Wood was Quidditch mad, but you don't get that many scars from Quidditch, particularly in the one spot, this Katie knew. Something was wrong with Oliver Wood. Something was seriously wrong.  
  
Rarely did anyone see Oliver for the next couple of days. He spent all his time locked in his room or riding his broom. Everyone knew that there was something wrong with him, but no one knew what it was.  
  
Many of Harry's friends and teammates went to visit Harry over the next couple of days. It pained Ron, Hermione, and the entire Quidditch team to see Harry lying there, small and helpless in the little white bed, not moving, or registering anything. He just lay there like a corpse, according to George, who now was sporting a very black eye which Angelina gave him after that particular remark.  
  
They left the hospital wing more depressed than ever before, all of them except Wood, because Wood never went there in the first place. He couldn't make himself do it. It was his fault that Harry was like that. He had told Harry to get the snitch or die trying. Even though when he said it, he didn't think Harry would take it seriously. Luckily, Harry didn't die but regained consciousness after five days in the hospital wing.  
  
To the horror of all, the Bludger damage was far worse than expected. Harry awoke with no recollection of who he was, where he was, and for that matter who any one else was. And to make matters worse, Harry awoke blind. Hermione and Ron were by his side when he regained consciousness. Hermione gave him a hug as he struggled to sit up after lying down for nearly a week.  
  
"Harry. You're awake. We were all so worried about you. After you took the bludger to the head we were all so worried. So worried!" blabbed Hermione. At this point Ron stepped in and suggested that Hermione calm down and give Harry some room.  
  
Then the bombshell hit.  
  
"Who are you people? And can someone turn the lights on? It's pitch black." Ron gasped as the realization sunk in. Harry didn't remember them.  
  
"Harry, how many fingers am I holding up?" Ron said as he placed three fingers in front of Harry's face.  
  
"I can't see any fingers. There is just blackness."  
  
Ron glanced over at Hermione, who looked as though she was about to bust into tears.  
  
"Hermione, go get Madame Pomfrey and tell her he can't see." Hermione leapt from the chair and went off in search of Madame Pomfrey, the tears silently streaming down her face.  
  
Madame Pomfrey arrived soon enough and sent Ron away. He didn't go back to the common room, and instead waited at Madame Pomfrey's office. After she had finished her assessment of Harry, she returned there to find Ron waiting  
  
"What's happened, Madame?" he stuttered. "What's wrong with Harry? Will he be all right?" Poppy Pomfrey's heart broke as she saw the look of utter sadness plastered on Ron's face.  
  
"Ron, I don't want to be the one to tell you this. Harry is now blind and from the tests I did, it can't be reversed. And he has amnesia. I don't know what will bring him out of it, but for the time being, leave him alone. Go tell the rest of the Quidditch team. I know they will want to know." And with that she pushed Ron out of the wing and sent him on his way.  
  
On arriving at the common room, Ron realized that Hermione must have assembled the entire Quidditch team already. They sat there looking so happy and hopeful, thinking that the news about Harry was going to be good. But upon seeing Ron's face they knew it wasn't. Ron sat down. The expression on his face told them that their worlds were about to come crashing down. Ron's mind was racing a million miles an hour, but he did notice that Wood was there. Looking at Wood was enough to make you feel ill. He had bags under his eyes and was as pale as anything. Pushing this thought to the side, Ron decided that he better tell them about Harry.  
  
"I know you want to know about how Harry is. Well, first of all, he has regained consciousness." Everyone's faces broke out into smiles.  
  
"Now for the bad new. Harry has amnesia." And with those words, everyone's faces fell. "Harry has absolutely no recollection of who he is or who we are. And I don't think he knows what Quidditch even is," Ron continued. "But worst of all, Harry's has regained consciousness but not his vision. Guys, he's blind, and Madame Pomfrey believes that his vision won't return."  
  
Ron didn't think that the team's faces could fall any further but at that, they did.  
  
Ron ran back to the dorm and left the Quidditch team to its own devices. Most of them just sat there, but Wood left soon after this. No one knew what to do until Alicia piped up.  
  
"Guys. We have a Quidditch game in a week. Harry wouldn't want us worrying about him. We all know that Madame Pomfrey wouldn't let him play even if he wasn't blind." The last part hurt Alicia to say. "Oliver is in no state to be making decisions so I say we go find ourselves a Seeker till Harry gets better." Everyone was annoyed with Alicia for suggesting finding a replacement so soon, but they all knew it must be done.  
  
Later that night, as Katie sat in one of the tower's window alcoves she spotted a figure flying a broomstick on the Quidditch fields.  
  
'Oliver,' she thought. 'Oliver, you crazy fool. What are you doing down there at this time of night? You'll hurt yourself.'  
  
Katie was still staring out the window half an hour later as Wood made his way up the hill. He stopped, sitting down in the middle of the hill half way to the castle. Katie wondered what on earth he was doing. She noticed him pull something from inside his robes and flick it open. Just by looking at it Katie knew what it was, but raced to get some omnoculars in case she was mistaken.  
  
After grabbing a pair and returning to the window, Katie focused in on Wood still sitting on the ground. She was right. Oliver Wood had a knife.  
  
'What's he got a knife for?' she wondered. She then watched in horror as Oliver used the knife to cut himself on the arm. Then she realized that was where the scars were from. Judging from the amount of them she realized that he had been doing this for a while.  
  
With the help of the omnoculars Katie could see three vivid red cuts on Wood's arm bleeding and the fact that he was crying.  
  
'Why is he crying?' She wondered what had driven Oliver to these extremes and why he didn't tell any one. Katie couldn't answer this, but one thing she knew was that she was going to find out what was wrong with Oliver and help him.  
  
Everyone on the Quidditch team went to see Harry while he in the hospital. They all sat there talking to Harry for what seemed like hours. Telling him all that they knew about who he was, and who they were, but it didn't help. He couldn't remember and he still couldn't see. It was scary looking into Harry's eyes, glazed and unseeing and knowing that he couldn't see you back and that most likely he never would see you again.  
  
Katie spent hours in the library the day after watching Oliver, researching why people did what he was doing. As she read even more into the subject, she started to worry more and more about Oliver. What had caused him to do this? Katie sat thinking about Oliver for hours in the library. She now knew why he never wore short sleeved shirts, why his left arm guard was double sided. Katie decided that tonight after Quidditch practice she was going to confront Oliver.  
  
That night, Oliver looked preoccupied as they worked with Seamus, the seeker who was replacing Harry. He had been called up from the reserve team, so naturally, he was very nervous. Everyone on the team made it as easy as possible for him, so his nerves went to waste. About half way through the practice, Fred managed to belt a bludger at George and it slammed into his side, prompting him to fall of his broom.  
  
He hit the ground and blacked out. But nothing can keep a Weasley down, so after five minutes or so George was back up, rearing to go. By this time Oliver had vanished into the dressing rooms and Katie seized this moment to go talk to him. Biding the team farewell, she went after Oliver. They needed to talk.  
  
She snuck into the dressing rooms in search of Wood. Then she spotted him standing in the middle of the locker room, as still as anything and deathly pale.  
  
"Oliver," she whispered "Oliver. What's wrong?" He turned to look at her. Katie looked at Oliver with eyes wide.  
  
"What do you want, Katie? Can't you guys leave me alone?" he shot back, his words filled with venom. Katie walked up to Oliver and grabbed his arm. He punched her, pushing her away, but she just lunged at him, tackling him to the ground. Oliver went out cold as his head hit the ground.  
  
Dragging him into the first aid room, she placed him on the bed and inspected his arm. It had taken her ten minutes to find him after escaping the team, and by looking at his arm she knew exactly what he had been doing.  
  
Oliver woke up as she started inspecting his arm. He jumped up with a scream and yelled at her to leave him alone, but he knew from the look on her face that she wasn't going anywhere. So Oliver sat despondently back down on the bench, looking like a lost child. Katie couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him. No one Wood's age should have to suffer the emotional pain that he was evidently going through. Katie grabbed Wood's arm and examined the knife wounds.  
  
"Katie. Just leave it, please. It's nothing. I fell over that's all, nothing strange." Glancing up from the wound she was treating, Katie exclaimed, "And I suppose that's how you got all these other cuts and that's why I had to remove a knife from your pocket! Oliver, why do you do this to yourself?" With that Katie looked into Oliver's eyes and saw that he had hidden so much more.  
  
"Oliver. I saw you the other night on your way back from the Quidditch pitch. I know what you've been doing, but why, Oliver? Why didn't you tell us? It can't be that bad." Oliver could see that Katie wanted to help him but she couldn't. No one could.  
  
"Katie, no one can help solve my problems. So just leave me alone. What I do is my business alone."  
  
By this time, Katie had treated Wood's arm. By looking at the age of some of the scars, Oliver had been doing this to himself for a very long time and had been doing it more a lot recently.  
  
"Oliver, I might not be able to help you, but please tell me. It's killing me to see you doing this to yourself. You're one of my best friends; I can't let you do this." Deep down Oliver knew that Katie would never give up, but he wasn't prepared to tell her. He would tell her eventually, but not now.  
  
"Katie. I just can't tell you. I am sorry." With that, Oliver swiftly left the rooms and went back to the castle. Katie didn't follow him and instead returned to the pitch to finish training.  
  
Later that night, Katie went to check on Oliver and found him asleep but obviously in a nightmare.  
  
"Oliver, wake up." Katie shook him violently till his eyes fluttered open. He looked around as if trying to figure out where he was.  
  
"It's ok, Olli. You were having a nightmare." He looked up at her, tears in his eyes. Why did she care about him? Nobody cared about Oliver, not even his parents.  
  
"I know, Katie. I've had them every night for the last six years. Why do you care any way? Get out of my room and leave me alone." But Oliver knew that she wouldn't do this. Maybe someone cared, he thought.  
  
"Go back to sleep. You won't have any more nightmares tonight," she said. But Oliver was already asleep. "Dremarious," Katie whispered and with that sent Oliver into a dreamless sleep. 'Thank the wizarding gods,' she thought, 'that Becca taught me that charm.' And with that, Katie left the room.  
  
The team thought it was a bit odd that Wood didn't come down to Quidditch practice. He usually wouldn't miss it for the world and they had a game this weekend. Then Katie told them what she had done to Wood and said that she wouldn't wake him till tomorrow. Katie spent the whole day lying to teachers about where Wood was. She felt bad about doing it but she knew that he needed rest. The next morning Katie awoke Wood after Quidditch practice. She then had to explain to him that he had been sleeping for a day and a half. Surprisingly, Oliver took it better than Katie thought he would.  
  
But by night time, he had returned to his state of depression and as he went to bed that night Katie noticed that there were three fresh cuts on his arm.  
  
'Oliver, why do you do this to yourself?' was Katie's final thought that night before drifting off to sleep. 'Remember, Oliver there are some people who care for you. There are some people who love you. Love you'.  
  
Katie awoke early the next by the sensation of been shaken awake. It was Oliver. "What's wrong?" she cried. "Are you ok?"  
  
"Of course." Oliver replied. "There's nothing wrong with me. You know that. You're late for Quidditch. It's game day," and he swiftly left the room in what could almost be described as a cheerful mood.  
  
He might have said there was nothing wrong with him, but Katie knew that in Oliver's case, everything was wrong.  
  
As usual the team had to listen to Oliver's pep talk before the game started. Usually this bored them to tears but today Oliver kept it simple. "Play your best. Play this for Harry and before we start go say hi to him. He remembers you all."  
  
"What?" the team all gasped at the same time. An enormous grin covered Oliver's face.  
  
"I finally plucked up the courage to go see Harry. I was talking to him and must have said something that triggered his memory. He is still blind but he has his memory."  
  
The looks of joy and delight on the team's faces were a marvelous sight.  
  
"Let's go play Quidditch," called Wood.  
  
And as the team flew onto the field, the team let out a war cry: "For Harry." This brought a smile to the lips and tears to the eyes of their blind friend.  
  
The game was against Slytherin. It was the rematch for the game that had left Harry blind. Everyone wanted Gryffindor to win, except the Slytherin team. All they wanted was to win, at all costs. It didn't worry them if someone died in the process. They had shown no emotion about Harry's new state of blindness.  
  
Then it happened.  
  
Flint, the Slytherin Captain, had the Quaffle. He came at Oliver just as Bole hit a bludger at Oliver. Fred and George missed it and it slammed into Oliver's back. And he fell. The crowded gasped as he plummeted into the sand trap under the goals.  
  
"What's wrong, Hermione? What's happened?" cried Harry, desperate to be able to see what the problem was.  
  
"It's Wood. He's been hurt. He's not moving."  
  
Harry didn't like the sound of this. Wood often had cuts or scrapes but never fell off his broom. He had broken a leg once and still had stayed firmly attached to his broom. Quidditch was the world to him. According to Hermione's commentary, Madame Pomfrey had magicked up a stretcher and was taking him to the hospital wing. The Quidditch team was close behind. So with Hermione and Ron helping him on either side, Harry followed the team.  
  
Anxiously, they waited for any news on Oliver. Oliver, the team's captain, the team's mentor and everyone's favorite seventh year. Even the Weasley brothers preferred him to Percy. Madame Pomfrey appeared at the door. "Katie Bell, come with me."  
  
Katie silently and swiftly followed her down to where Oliver lay. She sat down on the chair next to him, and looked up at Madame Pomfrey.  
  
"Why did you come and get me? And what's wrong with Oliver?" she stuttered, fighting back tears. She looked at Oliver. He used to be fun and cheerful, then he had become depressed and now... Katie had to look away. He just appeared so helpless. It wasn't fair. Oliver didn't deserve this and Harry didn't deserve what had happened to him, either.  
  
"Katie, he's been calling your name. I am sending the rest of the team home but you can stay here. And Katie, I didn't want to be the one telling you this. Oliver is paralyzed from the waist down and will remain so for a very long time. The impact of the bludger caused his spine to snap and also severed his spinal cord. I'm sorry." With that, Madame Pomfrey turned on her heal and swiftly departed, tears streaming down her face.  
  
Katie just sat there, her head in her hands and tears flowing down her cheeks. Oliver had suffered a great deal pain in his life for reasons Katie did not know, but the scars told the tale of pain.  
  
And now this. He had had such a promising career. Puddlemere United wanted him to play next year in their first class team. Now he couldn't fly, let alone play Quidditch. He couldn't even walk. With this thought, Katie burst into a fresh round of tears.  
  
The mood in the Gryffindor Common room wasn't much better. The room was empty except for the Quidditch team. Everyone had retired to their rooms to give the team some space. They just sat there. The tears were flowing for Oliver, the best friend anyone could have. Harry felt the worst. This morning, it had been him in the hospital and Oliver had helped him. Oliver had given him his memory back and now there was nothing Harry could do to help Oliver.  
  
Katie never left Oliver's side that night or the next day or the day after that. She had been there for two days when Madame Pomfrey made her go take a shower and get out of her Quidditch robes. According to Professor McGonagall, Katie set the record for the fastest shower and change in Hogwarts history that day. As quickly as Katie had left Oliver's side, she was back.  
  
'Why am I here?' she thought, but before Katie could continue, she heard noises from the bed next to her. She turned quickly. Oliver was awake.  
  
"Oliver." Katie bust into tears. Oliver wasn't thinking clearly after having been unconscious for two days. Why was Katie Bell sitting next to him? And why on earth was she crying? He knew something was wrong. The last thing Oliver could remember was falling.  
  
"Katie. What happened to me, why am I here?" His face had become paler than it had been when he was unconscious, if such a thing was possible. Katie managed to regain her composure for Oliver's sake. She didn't want to have to break the news to him but she did.  
  
"Oliver. You had an accident with a Bludger and it snapped your spinal cord. You're paralyzed from the waist down. I'm sorry." Katie burst into tears again and left the room.  
  
It was hard for Oliver to take in. He was paralyzed. 'That can't be right,' he though, but when he realized he couldn't move his legs, it hit him. Katie was right. Why would she lie to him? Katie returned moments later to find that Oliver Wood, for the first time in his life, was crying.  
  
Katie didn't know what to do, but she did the only thing she could think of. She hugged him. And so for hours Katie sat there holding Oliver, letting him cry all his pains away.  
  
Oliver never knew why Katie hugged him but he didn't care. It felt right. He had never been hugged like this. Not from his mum or dad. Not from any of his numerous girlfriends. Being hugged by Katie was comforting and at that moment that was what he needed most of all. Eventually Katie fell asleep, soon followed by Oliver, still wrapped in her arms. His world had come crashing down and this was all she could do to help.  
  
Oliver left the hospital wing days later in a specially equipped wheelchair that could handle stairs. Madame Pomfrey didn't want to let him out. There was something not right. She had seen those scars on his arm and when she question Katie about them Katie had promptly changed the subject. But Oliver was let out under Katie's supervision. Madame Pomfrey knew that if she didn't let him leave, he would leave himself.  
  
Oliver Wood went to his classes and then went back to the common room. He never did anything else. He sat at the window staring out at the Quidditch pitch. He spent all his free time away from school work staring out at it. Luckily, he had been sleeping well lately, though he did have a sneaking suspicion that maybe Katie had something to do with it. She constantly watched him. She had been told to.  
  
Katie noticed that Wood was sneaking deeper into depression. The scars on his arm had become worse. Every day five or six fresh cuts appeared. Every time she saw these, Katie cried. Not in public but after everyone went to bed she would creep down to the common room and cry. No one noticed this but Harry and he didn't know who it was that cried. He couldn't see.  
  
Wood did talk to one other person besides Katie: Harry. Harry could not longer play Quidditch, nor could Oliver, and they confided to each other their fears about their new life. Harry's life without his sight and Oliver's without feeling in his legs. Neither of them would be able to play Quidditch again and with the other's help, they were coming to terms with losing one of the things that they most loved.  
  
Oliver had been confined to a wheel chair for around a month when the next Quidditch game arrived. Madame Hooch had finally given up on Slytherin vs. Gryffindor rematches fearing that, by the end of it, all of the Gryffindor team would be hurt. Today's match was Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw. Six weeks ago, Gryffindor could have beaten them hands down, but today they couldn't.  
  
They didn't have a reserve keeper so without one they were slaughtered. The team tried to get Oliver to go and watch the game but he refused. So with Harry as company, Oliver watched the game from the tower window. That night, he cried himself to sleep thinking of everything that had been and everything that could have been.  
  
Oliver spent the morning preparing for what he was going to do. The thoughts had been plaguing him for so long. What did he do to deserve this? Why did he have to suffer?  
  
I need someone to talk to,  
  
I need someone to help me,  
  
I need someone to walk with,  
  
Down the road before me.  
  
That night Oliver and Harry went down to the Quidditch pitch to escape the common room. At least, that was what Harry thought. They sat in the middle of the sand trap under the goal post hoops. They had been there for hours and it was nearing midnight when Harry decided to go back to the castle. Wood wanted to stay for a while and Harry knew his way back so he left Wood behind.  
  
"Don't worry, Harry. I'll be up in about 10 minutes."  
  
Katie had crawled into bed, exhausted. Today had been miserable. But she couldn't sleep. There was something on her pillow. It was a letter.  
  
Dear Katie I am writing this letter to say goodbye. And to say one thing. I have never been loved. My parents never loved me. You don't love me. No one does. But I love some one. Katie Bell. I love you. Goodbye  
  
Oliver  
  
Harry had been sitting in the common room waiting for Oliver to come back. He had left him over 30 minutes ago and Oliver should have returned but he hadn't. Harry was starting to worry when someone catapulted down the stairs and grabbed him. "Harry, where is Oliver?" the person yelled as they shook him.  
  
"I left him on the Quidditch field. He should be back by now, Katie" he stuttered. "What's wrong.?" He didn't have time to finish the question. Katie had already dragged him out of the entrance and towards the fields, towards Oliver.  
  
Oliver had known this charm for ages. They had learnt it a year ago in charms but Oliver had never been able to do it successfully, so Hermione had helped him. She hadn't learnt it in school yet but had found it in a book in the library.  
  
He had managed to levitate himself to be right next to the goal post. After perching himself on the edge of the goal post he removed the coil of rope and knife he had hidden in his robes.  
  
I can't find anyone to help me because nobody cares,  
  
All I find are those meaningless blank stares.  
  
No one would even notice if I took my life,  
  
No one would care, it'd give no one strife.  
  
Katie and Harry were tearing through the castle towards the pitch at a rapid pace when they ran into Professor McGonagall. "What are you two doing out of bed?" she roared. Katie took no notice and left Harry to explain the situation.  
  
McGonagall was astounded when Katie kept running.  
  
"Professor. It's Oliver. He's on the Quidditch field. Katie thinks he is trying to commit suicide."  
  
McGonagall gasped and raced after Katie. 'This is not good,' she thought. Madame Pomfrey had mentioned something about the scars that littered Oliver's arm. Now she knew what they were from.  
  
Oliver tied the rope around his neck and around the hoop. 'My suffering will end soon,' he thought. 'It will be over, and how ironic that the one thing that I spent all my life defending will be the one thing that helps me die.' He picked up the knife and with a swift movement slashed one of his wrists. The knife bit deep, slicing the arteries. He did the same to the other. Using his last ounce of strength, he rolled of the hoop and fell.  
  
"Oliver!" Katie screamed. She had seen him tumble from one of the hoops as she ran down the hill. He was hanging in the air. Hanging from the Quidditch hoop. "Sevorius!" she screamed, using magic to sever the rope as she ran towards him. His body fell from the sky. After what seemed like ages but in reality only took seconds she reached his body. She did the best to remove the rope from his neck. Only then did she notice his wrists.  
  
After tearing strips of her pajamas up, Katie wrapped them around his wrists, trying to stop the bleeding. "Oliver. Why did you have to do this? Why?" she cried as tears rolled down her cheeks. McGonagall arrived just then along with Madame Pomfrey, who instantly Apparated to the infirmary with Oliver in her arms. Not knowing what to do Katie ran to the infirmary, the tears still streaming down her face.  
  
'I should have known he'd try to kill himself,' she thought. 'I let my best friend attempt suicide.' Katie thought back to the note. What did Oliver mean when he said no one loved him? His parents must. Then Katie realized she hadn't met Oliver's parents. No one had. Katie looked up. She had made it to the infirmary.  
  
"Oliver!" she yelled and burst through the doors. She could see a group of people down the end of the row of beds. She ran towards them but Professor McGonagall stopped her before she got there. "Katie, stay here. Let them help Oliver," she said and forced Katie into a chair. "I don't know if he will pull through this. I will tell you when I know."  
  
Katie must have sat crying for hours when McGonagall appeared. "He made it, Katie. He just made it." Katie burst into a fresh round of tears, her worry for Oliver turning into joy because he was alive.  
  
That morning at breakfast, Dumbledore called the Great Hall to silence. "I have some news to inform you of. Last night one of your fellow students attempted suicide." A collective gasp echoed through the hall. No one knew who it was. The Quidditch team noticed that Katie wasn't there this morning, nor was Oliver. 'Let it not be him, please let it not be him,' they prayed.  
  
"Last night, Oliver Wood, the Gryffindor 7th year and ex-Quidditch Captain attempted to hang himself from the Quidditch goals."  
  
The tears started. Not Oliver, he seemed so happy. But then there was the accident. The hall was deathly silent except for the sobs rising from the Gryffindor table.  
  
"If it was not for the quick thinking of Ms. Katie Bell, Oliver would now be dead. Katie reached Oliver just after he hung himself and cut the rope. Madame Pomfrey and her assistants spent all night trying to save him and early this morning he made it." Dumbledore smiled. Many of the staff hadn't agreed with his decision to tell the whole school about Oliver but he felt that if every one knew it would save Oliver the pain of rumors and that any one else contemplating suicide might be put off.  
  
"No one is to go to the hospital wing and visit Oliver. I mean no one. If you are caught there, you will face suspension. Understand? Would the Gryffindor Quidditch team please assemble in my office in 10 minutes? Now, good day," and with that Dumbledore left the table. Alicia and Angelina had broken down into tears the moment Oliver's name had been mentioned and Fred and George were doing the best to comfort them. But even they had tears rolling down their checks.  
  
For the next few days, while Oliver slept under the effects of a potion from Madame Pomfrey, Katie read. She read everything she could get her hands on suicide, depression and self-mutilation the library had, even the books she already had read. Katie was determined that she would help Oliver get through this: he needed her. For the hundredth time that day, Katie burst into tears, still not wanting to comprehend what had happened.  
  
Then she felt a hand reach out and touch hers. "Katie, why are you crying?" the voice asked. Katie turned and looked at Oliver. He was awake.  
  
"Oliver, why do you think I am crying? You tried to kill yourself!" she yelled through the tears, looking into his face as he struggled with his thoughts.  
  
"I didn't die. You saved me," his voice rose with anger. "How could you? I failed. I failed at everything I have ever done. This was going to be the end but you made me fail. I didn't want to live!" he screamed back. Katie leapt from the chair she had been sitting in and ran from the room. She didn't know where to go. She was confused. So she sat on a chair in the waiting room and cried. 'Why did he want to die again?'  
  
'Why didn't they let me die,' he wondered. 'Maybe I could end it now.' Oliver struggled to sit up in bed and looked around. Someone had left a pair of succors on the bench next to him. He struggled out of bed to reach them. Stars formed as Oliver sliced through his wrists, trying to end it all, again.  
  
After about 20 minutes Katie returned to Oliver's room. She opened the door and screamed. The last thing she could remember was the sight of Oliver as she hit the ground in a dead faint.  
  
Oliver was lying on the floor when Katie opened the door. Blood pooled around his wrists. He had tried again to take his life. Madame Pomfrey had come running after she heard the scream. 'No, Oliver,' she thought 'Not again.' Luckily, due to his weakness he hadn't cut deep enough and Madame Pomfrey was able to heal the wounds quickly.  
  
When Oliver awoke, Katie was sitting on the end of his bed and Madame Pomfrey was in the chair next to him. When Katie noticed that he was awake, she burst into a fresh round of tears and left.  
  
"What's with her?" Oliver growled at Madame Pomfrey. "You'd think they would be glad not having me around any more."  
  
'What happened to this boy to make him think like this?' Madame Pomfrey thought sadly, and then said, "Oliver Wood. Why do you think she is crying? Twice in under a week she has found you attempting suicide. You mean so much to her, and if you can't see that, the Bludgers your head has been belted with did more damage than I thought," and with that she bustled out of the room to attend to another patient.  
  
Oliver lay staring at the ceiling thinking. 'Maybe they do care for me,' he thought as he drifted off to sleep. 'Maybe they do.'  
  
Katie was perched on the chair next to his bed when he awoke. She had been sitting there for hours. Katie couldn't cry anymore. She already had been for four days now and there was no tears left for her to cry.  
  
"Katie," Oliver whispered. "Why did you save me? I don't deserve to live." And he burst into tears.  
  
Confused, Katie sat down next to him on the bed and wrapped her arms around him. He winced in pain.  
  
"What's wrong?" she asked him as he winced again. Their eyes made contact and she knew there was something he wasn't telling her. The reasons that had led him to cut himself and attempt suicide in the first place. "Oliver, you are one of the nicest people I have ever met and you do deserve to live. You deserve it as much as anyone I know and you can't tell someone you love them, and then take it away. It's not right."  
  
Oliver was astounded with the realization that someone cared. He knew why he loved her but before he told her again he needed to tell Katie some other things. Like what had driven him to this. He had to be honest.  
  
"Katie, I need you to do me a favor. I need to tell you what lead me to do this but first need you to take the concealment charms of me. Please."  
  
So Katie obliged, wondering why Oliver had the charms on.  
  
"Uncoverious," she murmured, removing the charms.  
  
Never before had she seen someone so bruised and miserable. Oliver's body was covered in bruises and cuts. His skin was stretched over his ribcage, every bone visible. His face was covered in purple bruises and large deep gashes. The worst was that Katie could see all the self inflicted wounds on Oliver's arm. Just looking at them made her flinch.  
  
"Oliver. Who did this to you? Why didn't you tell any one?" she cried, aghast at how anyone could cause someone so much pain. Particularly someone that didn't deserve it.  
  
"My parents did it, Katie. The two people in the world who are meant to love me unconditionally did it." The anger rose in Oliver's voice as he continued to talk and all the while struggled upright in bed. "All my life they told me I was a failure. That I was good for nothing. That I didn't deserve to live."  
  
At those last words Katie gasped. It hurt her to hear these things but she could only think of the pain it was causing Oliver to tell her about it.  
  
"I started cutting myself at the beginning of the year. It helped me stay controlled and deal with my problems. It let me release my pain but this last holidays it got worse. They have always degraded me and made me feel useless, but then Dad lost his job at the Ministry. He spent all his time getting drunk at the pub and then he would come home and blame all his problems on me, like it was my fault everything went wrong. I would hear him come and hide in my room. Mum knew what he was doing, but she didn't stop him. I think she was scared he would hurt her too. He would beat me and when I cried he beat me more. They fed me once a day, a piece of bread at the most. I was too weak to fight back. They took my wand so I couldn't do magic even though it was illegal. The school doesn't notice because it doesn't look like it effects my Quidditch. I use energy charms to solve that problem." Oliver stopped, unable to continue but as he looked at Katie he knew he must go on.  
  
"Then one night.he was so drunk. I can't remember what happened, I had blacked out when the pain got too much. But when I woke the next day I knew what had happened. And every night until school went back he did the same thing. He raped me, Katie. He raped me," and with those words Oliver broke down with tears.  
  
Katie didn't know what to do. She crawled up onto the bed next to him and wrapped her arms around him. He pulled away this time. "Oliver. I am not going to hurt you," she whispered into his ear. He relaxed into her arms and thought 'this is the way Mum should have looked after me.'  
  
"Katie" he whispered. "I love you."  
  
"I love you too, Oliver. I love you with all my heart." And they drifted of to sleep in each others' arms.  
  
Oliver spent the next month in the hospital, recovering from his injuries. He still suffered from depression and it would be a long time before he truly recovered, but with Katie's help he was on his way. The Quidditch team often came to visit him. They would sit talking for hours until Madame Pomfrey shooed them out.  
  
Katie never left and Madame Pomfrey never made her. She slept curled up on the bed next to Oliver, her head on his chest. According to Madame Pomfrey, having Katie was the best thing that had ever happened to Oliver. Madame Pomfrey didn't know about his other injuries but she had an idea what might have driven him too these extremes.  
  
Oliver had been forced to undergo counseling. He participated in the sessions but never told them about his parents. Only Katie knew, and she wasn't going to tell. Eventually Oliver stopped putting the concealing charms on his arm to cover the scars. He needed to face his demons and his self-mutilation was one of them.  
  
The next time the team came to visit they saw the scars. With Katie by his side, Oliver slowly explained to them what the scars where from. The others were shocked and could not believe Oliver had done something like that to himself and that they had not realized.  
  
Oliver eventually left the hospital wing but had to return twice a day for his anti-depressant potion. Oliver never would be able to play Quidditch again but eventually, that stopped bothering him. There was more to life than Quidditch.  
  
Many people asked Oliver about the scars on him arm. His reply was simple and identical to every person. He told them: "I did them to myself. I was depressed. It's called self-mutilation." Some people found it creepy but most Gryffindors admired him for his courage to not avoid the subject.  
  
Nightly Oliver could be seen sitting in his wheel chair next to Katie, doing his homework at the window. Everyone said the two of them had never looked happier and that they both glowed when they were together. Wouldn't you?  
  
'It could be standing before you, needing a bit of a push. Or sitting beside you, waiting for you to let go. Perhaps it's sneaking up from behind, hoping you will turn around. But sometimes, love falls from a clear blue sky, and you just have to catch it.' Clio, Eight ways from Sunday 


End file.
